The Price of Honor
by Pandora of Ithilien
Summary: Traitor's daughter. That's what they called me. But through it all, the taunts and the bullying, I stayed strong. For I had made a vow to bring honor back to my family name at any price. One day, they would call me lady knight.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I tell you, Tortall and all of Tamora Pierce's characters, places, etc. are NOT mine. However...Janiya and anyone you don't know are. If you steal them, I shall get a sword (or a lightsaber) and it will be off with your head! Just kidding. Hee hee.

**_Prologue:_** My name is Janiya of Tirragen. My father was the traitor Alexander of Tirragen. For my family, my father no longer exists. He disappeared forever when I was 6, three years after his death. When my grandfather died, still denying his son's treachery, blaming it all on the Conte duke, my grandmother followed tradition and burned my father's knight gear. As I watched the flames, I realized something. As the only Tirragen by blood – not marriage – left, I was the heir to my family. As such, I had a responsibility to my family, a duty to my lineage. Although I was only six, I knew that somehow, I had to bring honor to my family, to find a way to fix my father's mistakes. But I didn't know how.

Four years later, when I was ten, the answer came. A new law had been passed by King Jonathan. It said that any girl who wished could try for knighthood. This was it. I would become the next lady knight. You see, I hadn't cared that the Lioness killed my father; he was a traitor. I still looked up to Lady Alanna. I had wished passionately to be like her, and now I could be. It would be hard; as the only girl, I could expect taunting. Being my father's daughter – the daughter of a traitor – would only make it worse. But it mattered little to me. The empty space on the wall where the swords and shields of Tirragen knights hung – the space where my father's gear would have hung – beckoned to me. One day, I vowed, a sword and shield _would_ hang there, with the Tirragen arms, a black wolf on a purple field, like the ones before it. One thing would be different. This shield would have a distaff border, the mark of a lady knight. I knew the path I'd chosen would be difficult to walk. But it was my choice to take it, and I did. No challenge was too hard to stop me from reaching my dreams, and no price was too high to pay if it meant bringing honor back to the Tirragen name.

A/N: I know Kel's the 2nd lady knight and the 1st to use a distaff border, but for the sake of my story, pretend she wasn't.


	2. The Royal Palace

Janiya and her friends are mine, except for Anders and Inness...that's about all I own right now.

**_Chapter 1 – The Royal Palace:_** It was not easy to convince Grandmama that I ought to become a page. However, I used all my powers of persuasion, and she finally relented. So I was off to Corus. Our chief footman, Calef, would accompany me to the palace and see me settled in before returning to Tirragen. I would be lying if I claimed that I went without fear. Although the only member of my family involved in treason had been my father, I knew my heritage might be reason enough for the training master to refuse me. I also knew it would do me no good to worry. So Calef and I set off, he on a sturdy gelding and I on a mare called Ambryn, the ancient word for amber, the color of her coat. Ambryn would serve me in my training years; she was young and strong.

Three weeks later, we reached our destination. I resisted the urge to gape as we rode through Corus. I had never been further than the two small villages and one medium-sized town that made up Fief Tirragen since I was very young. That was no preparation for the capital. I saw people of all kinds, from thieves to seamen to the proud desert men called the Bazhir. There were all sorts of things for sale, and several different languages were being used around me. It was all I could do not to gawp like some fool.

We passed through the Sacred District, which I must admit did not catch my interest – my family wasn't very religious. At last we reached the Palace. Inside the walls seemed to be a small town. Now I felt a slight sense of familiarity, brought on by the vague memories of my first 3 years, which I had spent here. The memories flooded in, good...and bad. But I ignored them; they were not important right now.

Soon a servant came to see why we were here. Calef drew himself up and said, "I've come with Mistress Janiya of Tirragen to see the training master. Can you take us to him?" The man's eyes narrowed at the name Tirragen, but he signaled for hostlers to take our mounts and then led us inside and down a long hall. He stopped at a door that read, _Duke Gareth of Naxen, Training Master of Pages and Squires._ Even though I wasn't religious, I prayed to any god listening to get me through this.

The Duke of Naxen was tall and thin, with brown hair and eyes. He was plain, but had a commanding air. The servant introduced us and left. The Duke looked me over; but what he thought, I couldn't tell. I handed him the letter that Grandmama had written, which explained that I wanted to be a page. He read it quickly and fixed me with a piercing look.

"So, Janiya of Tirragen, you wish to be a page. I must say, I am surprised that you dare, after your father's actions seven years ago. Are you sure you want this? The lads may not be too kind; you've two strikes against you, your sex and your lineage." I met that sharp gaze squarely. "Sir, I know the risks. I can't change who I am, and I know what I want. This is it. My family was respected once. All I want is a chance to get some of that honor back." He studied me for a moment, then nodded.

"Very well, then. You shall be placed on 6 months probation so we can ascertain your loyalty. It's standard procedure for those in your position." I nodded, afraid to speak again. He continued, "You are here to learn chivalry and what it means to be a knight of Tortall. You will work hard, at physical training and academic studies. When you are fourteen, you become a squire. A knight may pick you for his body squire; if so, you will run his errands, tend his belongings, and protect his interests. You will learn to defend the weak, obey your overlord, and champion the cause of right. During your first few weeks, an older page will sponsor you and show you how things are done here. Welcome to the palace, Janiya. And good luck. I feel you'll need it." He held out his hand and I kissed it. "Thank you, your Grace," I murmured.

Next, another servant took us to the palace tailors, where I was fitted for my page's uniform. The tailor used a knotted cord to take my measurements and then shouted his findings to scurrying assistants. I was handed several red shirts and pairs of red hose with some gold tunics to match. The man shooed me out with a warning to not be back for three months at least. "You rip 'em, you mend 'em," he said.

At last, I was taken to my room. Here Calef wished me well and left. I swallowed hard. This was it. The servant had said that all pages reported at the fifth hour of the evening ( A/N - 5:00PM to us) to serve dinner. Already I could hear boys talking outside, so I dressed swiftly. Then I yanked my comb from one of my bags and quickly ran it through the circle of black curls my once-wavy hair had become since I cropped it. I faced myself in the mirror, scrutinizing my appearance. I had never looked so fancy before. The bright red and brighter gold shone, and my pale gray eyes blazed in my dark face. My purse and dagger hung from a slim leather belt. In the mirror, I saw Page Janiya for the first time. The sight gave me the courage to unbolt the door.

The moment I stepped out into the hall, the talk stopped. The boys stared at me, plainly shocked. One, a sneering, pimply boy of about thirteen came over. He looked me over, an evil glint in his eye. "And just who are you and why are you dressed like a page, wench?" he demanded. I glared coldly at him. "I'm Janiya of Tirragen, and I _am_ a page. Oh, didn't you know? Girls can be pages now." He sniggered loudly. "Girl, you'll not last a week. Maybe you_ would_, but you're just a worthless bit of trash from a traitorous house." He kicked me, hard. I punched him in the nose. Before he could retaliate, another boy got between us. He was tall with dark brown hair and dreamy hazel eyes. "Stop bullying her, Shaw. You've no right." Shaw growled, "I'm trying to get rid of this traitor's whelp before she turns on us all, Anders!" He spun and stalked away. The other boys seemed uncertain. Most followed Shaw, but three came to where Anders stood, near me. Anders smiled at me. "That was Shaw of Dunlath. Don't mind him; he's a creep. I'm Anders of Mindelan, by the way. This is Jace of Aili," - he indicated a slim boy with messy blond hair and friendly blue eyes - "Galen of Lansar," - this one had red hair and green eyes - "and my brother Inness. He's a first-year too; the rest of us are in third year." Inness was a younger version of Anders. He grinned at me. I was startled. "Um, I don't understand. You, you're being nice to me. I'm a girl, and worse, I'm Tirragen blood. Alexander was my father. You don't care?" They looked at me, obviously amused.

"Why _should_ we care?" Jace wanted to know. "You're not your father, are you? You're you. Why judge you by him?" Galen chuckled. "Lass," he said, "You can't think everyone will hate you. Sure, some will, but we've all got enemies. That's life." Anders added, "You seem like a good person. We want to be your friends." The other boys agreed. I noticed Inness hadn't said anything. I glanced at him and he smiled. "Don't mind me; I'm just quiet. But I'd like to be friends too," he informed me.

"It's all settled, then. We're friends, and if Jace and Galen don't mind, I'll be your sponsor,"said Anders.They didn't mind. "So, Janiya. You like this arrangement?" he asked me. I smiled. "It's Jani. And actually, I don't like the arrangement – I love it. Thanks." They laughed and we went down to serve at dinner. Anders put me in a niche where I could see everything. Then I followed them to the pages' dining hall. It was fun to listen to Anders, Jace, and Galen as they kidded around. Inness, as he said, was quiet, and I was too tired to talk much. Galen said Inness and I were a perfect couple because we both talked little. Inness threw a roll at him and I laughed helplessly as Galen tried to duck.

When I got into bed that night, I was happier than I'd ever been in my life. It was good that the Duke had accepted me for training; I could now pursue my dream of being a lady knight. But what was better was that, for the first time in my life, I had friends. It was a miracle.

A/N: Yes, Anders and Inness are Kel's older brothers. This is about 10 years before _First_ _Test_, and if they were old enough to be married (was Anders the only one with kids?) when Kel started page training, then I figured they trained at least 10 years before her. If I'm wrong, well, out of Kel's books, I only own Squire. My story, my timeline. Bear with me. And no, she doesn't fall in love with any of these boys. Her future love hasn't been introduced yet.


	3. First Day

Janiya and her friends are mine, except for Anders and Inness...that's about all I own right now.

**_Chapter 2 – First Day:_** The next morning, I woke at dawn, as usual. I had always been a morning person and so woke early. Walking to my window, I watched the sun rise. As the golden light bathed the city, I thought of the last time I'd seen this view.

_Daddy was dressed in black. He had out that shiny thing – a...sword? He was playing with it when the Dead-man, the Duke of Conte, came in. "Alex, are you prepared?" he asked Daddy. Daddy replied, "Of course, Your Grace. I'm always ready." He smiled meanly, and then he saw me by the window. "Little brat!" he snarled. He strode over and grabbed my pigtails, and I knew he'd drag me back to the little closet, the punishment place, except that the Duke stopped him. "Wait, Alex. Let me see the girl." I was pushed roughly to the Duke, and I fell. The Duke lifted me by my chin, making me face him. He studied me hard and weird light of an ugly red shone from the hand he kept under my chin. "She has a lot of raw power, Alex, a strong Gift. Impressive." He let me go and I ran to my room, where I stayed. When the ground shook, I hid under my bed, where a servant found me later. She brought me to Grandfather, who was there to fetch me. Then I left Corus, not to return for 7 years._

_"She has a strong Gift"_...Roger's words were a scar on my heart, my deepest secret. Gifts were uncommon in my family; no one thought to test me and I had also seen little magic. To me, magic was the Dead-man who scared me so much, and if I tried to use it, I'd be evil like him. I knew it was illogical; but then, fear rarely follows logic.

That day, training began. It was harder than I had expected. The morning was filled with academic lessons, mostly taught by Mithran priests. These tough men tolerated no slacking or inattentive students. Reading and writing were easy, as was deportment (thanks to Grandmama, who had drilled me all my life), but mathematics was a challenge.

The most interesting of my morning classes was history, taught by a knight, Sir Myles of Olau. He was a kind man, though slightly unkempt. I knew he was the Lioness's adoptive father, as well as Tortall's spymaster. And I also knew that he knew who I was – that is, a Tirragen. Still, he didn't treat me any differently than the boys. After class, he pulled me aside. "Page Janiya? May I have a word?" I nodded. "Is something wrong, sir?" I asked. He shook his head. "No, I just wanted to see how you were making out. Any problems with bullies or anything like that?" I remembered Shaw of Dunlath, but I was no telltale. I shook my head. Sir Myles frowned, perhaps guessing that I wasn't being entirely truthful, but he let me go.

"What did Sir Myles want?" Jace demanded when I caught up to the boys. I shrugged. "He was just asking if things were going okay, which they are." Anders frowned. "Did you mention Shaw?" he wanted to know. I replied, "No. I'll handle him. Eventually." Galen cried, "He'll kill you, Jani! He's a third-year, and about five times your size!" I shrugged again. "I didn't say I'll fight him _now_, Galen. I said I'll take care of it eventually. I would like to live to see second year at least." Jace laughed. "You will, Jani. Unless, of course, we stay here. If we miss lunch, the fighting practice this afternoon will be the death of us all." Inness snorted, nodding in agreement. Laughing, we ran to the mess hall.

In the practice yards, my first lesson was how to fall. It took some practice, but I finally got the knack of it. Then we practiced archery. I was a good shot and stood well, but according to my instructor, I had the grip all wrong. So I practiced that for an hour or so. Then we were paired off for an hour of trading blows and blocks with staves.

Riding practice came next. Luckily, Ambra was a good horse and obeyed my commands. I had few problems. At long last, it was time for dinner.

I had been told to wait on Duke Gareth at supper, so I did so. Thankfully, I didn't spill anything. After serving, I followed the other pages to our mess hall. I was starving and wolfed down my supper. Jace, of course, had to remark on that. "You know, Jani, by the time the food gets to the table, it doesn't try to run away." I pegged a roll at him in reply.

We were in the library, working on our mountains of homework when the Duke's manservant came for me. I got up and followed him out, trying to ignore my friends' worried looks.

The Duke was waiting for me in his study. I bowed and waited for him to explain. I did not need to wait long. "Janiya, the King wants to see you."

A/N: Come on, you know I love cliffies. It was just a matter of time. Now, the question is, what does Jonathan want with our Jani? Well, let's just say Jon-haters will have a new reason to hate him soon. Don't worry, you'll find out soon, I have the basic theory planned, just not the details. Sorry I didn't update, by the way; my plot plans took a long hike.


	4. Blood Oaths and Magic

Janiya and her friends are mine, except for Anders and Inness...that's about all I own right now.

**_Chapter 3 – Blood Oaths and Magic:_** Once again, a manservant came to lead me to a part of the palace I had never seen before. This time, it was some meeting room where King Jonathan waited. When we reached the door, I felt as though I was being led to the gallows. What could the _king_, of all people, possibly want with me?

I soon found out. Inside the room waited not only the king, but also Lady Alanna, Sir Gareth the Younger (Duke Gareth's son) and Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak. After a moment, I saw that Queen Thayet was there as well, and kept shooting her husband angry looks. That was all I noticed before I managed to overcome my temporary paralysis and bowed low. I stayed in that position, not even daring to lift my head until the king said, "That's enough." I straightened, my fear increasing at the coldness of that deep voice.

"Janiya of Tirragen, do you know why you are here?" the king asked. I swallowed, trying to clear away the huge lump in my throat. I managed, enough to get out, "No, Sire, I don't." I had a suspicion, though, one I didn't like. It seemed my father's legacy was going to cause more trouble than I had bargained for.

"You ought to know, Tirragen," snapped Sir Gareth, glaring at me. King Jonathan gave him a quelling look, and then turned back to me. "Page Janiya, you are aware that your father was a traitor. Yet here you are, trying to become a knight. One of _my_ knights. Tell me, how can I trust you?"

Anger was beginning to quash the fear. I knew this was it. Time to make my case. "Because, Sire, I am not my father. In fact, I hate my father for what he did. I don't know what drove him to do what he did, but I'm not like that. I would never turn on one I had sworn allegiance to. It's just wrong to do that, plain and simple."

Sir Gareth made a slight, disbelieving sound. Lady Alanna and Lord Raoul glanced at each other, their expressions quite unreadable. Queen Thayet, on the other hand continued to glare at her husband. The king kept his eyes on me. I didn't dare to meet his eyes, afraid of what I'd see there.

Finally, the king spoke. "I'm not sure I believe you. You're ten years old. I doubt Alexander meant to become a traitor at ten, either. I think it would be best if you signed a blood oath, here and now, that you will never knowingly betray the Crown." He gestured to a piece of paper, a pen, and a knife that sat on a table. I began to walk toward the table, intending to sign, when I stopped. This wasn't right.

"Forgive me, Sire, but I can't do this," I said, fighting to keep the anger out of my voice. The king raised a brow and asked why. "Because it isn't fair. My father broke the law, not me. Why is it I have to pay for his mistake? I was only three when he died, barely old enough to understand that he'd done something wrong after the fact, much less before. Why – " But I could no longer talk. There was a funny popping behind my eyes and suddenly, silver fire – the fire of magic – poured out of my hands. I was terrified. This had never happened before. Yes, things had sometimes moved of their own accord around me, and once, I had seen a picture in the flame, but nothing like this had ever happened. Of course, I'd never been so angry before, either. I watched helplessly as the fire engulfed the table, immolating it instantly. There was a roaring in my ears, and my world went black.

A/N: So...how was it? The blood oath idea's been playing in my head for a while, and I hope you liked it.


	5. Magic Revealed & Midwinter Flirtations

Disclaimer: Janiya and most of her friends are mine, but that's it. Also, the name Zane comes from a character written by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, because I hate making up boys' names!

**_Chapter 4 - Magic Revealed and Midwinter Flirtations_**I came to a few minutes later to find Lady Alanna bending over me, her hand glittering with purple fire. Our eyes met for a moment and then she straightened and walked back to her seat. I stood up on shaky legs, staring at the ashes of the table. King Jonathan cleared his throat.

"You never spoke of magic, Page Janiya," he said coolly. I flinched. "I, I've never told anyone. I, well, it's just that one thing I remember is Duke Roger having magic, and I never met any other mages, so I got a bad first impression of magic. It made me afraid to be a mage, so I never said..." I was babbling. I couldn't help it; I was really scared now. This could really get me in trouble.

But the adults were looking at me differently now. I wasn't sure why, but it didn't seem bad. Then the king spoke again. "Well, I understand why you never said anything, but really, Janiya, you have to tell people these things. Uncontrolled magic is dangerous." He sighed. "You'll take magic lessons now. And as for the oath... I think you're a bit too young. But just to warn you, I may ask for one later. Dismissed." I bowed and fled.

I was wandering the hallways - no one was there now to guide me - when I heard footsteps behind me. I spun around to see Lady Alanna. She studied me through guarded violet eyes. I stood there, wondering what she wanted.

"Walk with me, Page Janiya." I fell into step beside her. "So, you want to be a knight. Why?" She had to ask? "I want to bring honor back to my family, and I want to make up for my father's mistakes."

"That makes sense, but do you want this life? It's a hard one," the Lioness told me. I nodded. "It feels right, like it's what I'm meant to do. I can't explain it." I replied. She nodded. "That's all I needed to know. Goddess bless, Janiya." She left before I could reply. I noticed she'd brought me back to the pages' wing. Grinning, I went back to the library to get my things and then went to bed.

With the addition of magic lessons, my workload increased. I now had to research spells and practice meditation along with my other studies. But as the weeks passed, I found that I enjoyed learning to use magic, much to my shock. And, what with all the work I had, it seemed like no time until it was Midwinter.

Midwinter was a shock to me. We pages served each night at the main banquets, while the squires served at the parties that came after. I had never seen so many people dressed so gaudily before. I drank in the sights, including the arrivals of several convent girls. One was Lara of Tralfar, my cousin. Her mother was my father's sister. She'd always disliked me, and when I served at her table, I saw her sniff. She approached me later. "So, you really think you're doing the family name any good?" she questioned tauntingly, gripping my arm. "Yes," I hissed, glaring at her. She smirked. "You merchant's whelp. You'll never pull this off. If you make it to squire, the Chamber will kill you. And I'll be there, waiting to laugh." I ripped my arm from her clutches and walked off. Merchant's whelp... she was right. My mother had been a merchant, who my father had married in secret. I never knew if it was for love or because she was pregnant with me. She died giving birth, and Grandmama claimed not to know. But did it matter? I was still a Tirragen, after all. I wasn't illegitimate, so...

Lara knew how to undermine my confidence. I recognized her tricks, but had fallen for it anyway. I was an idiot and I knew it, but there was nothing I could do. I ran outside, needing a breath of air, and I collided with someone. I looked up to see a young man about 5 years older than me, wearing the colors of Fief Mindelan. He was a squire, I realized, and then I remembered Anders mentioning his father's squire, Zane of Eagle's Peak. This had to be him.

My suspicions were confirmed a moment later when he introduced himself. "Hello there, page. I'm Zane of Eagle's Peak and let me guess, you're Janiya of Tirragen." He grinned at me, eyes as blue as the sky twinkling with mischief. I smiled almost in spite of myself.

"Yes, that's me, but you can call me Jani if you like, Squire Zane." He laughed. "Very well, Jani," he responded, "but only if you drop the squire bit and call me Zane." I nodded, and was then rescued by a short man who looked very like Anders and Inness and a tall woman who had to be his wife. Anders and Inness were behind them. My friends introduced me to their parents, Piers and Ilane while Piers scolded Zane for flirting. I jumped in, saying, "Oh, no, Baron. There was no flirting, just friendly conversation."

Ilane chuckled. "Janiya, 'friendly conversation' is how Zane has romanced half the girls of Mindelan," she remarked. "At least my older daughters are at the convent and Keladry is just a baby. He can't break their hearts." I glanced at Zane. He looked at me in a hangdog way. "Sadly, I am a heartbreaker," he said mournfully. I shook my head as he left with Piers and Ilane. Anders wasted no time before he began to tease me. "Jani's in love, eh?" I whacked him on the arm and stalked off like an insulted empress, my nose in the air. I knew that once Anders told Jace and Galen, I'd never hear the end of it. They'd all think I was in love. But they'd be wrong. Most definitely.

A/N: So... make your own assumptions about Zane. We haven't seen the last of him! I apologize for not updating, but my brain was invaded by other characters and I had no choice but to write about them and put Jani aside. And for those who don't understand why Jon went all nice again, well, I don't really hate Jon, and I don't want him to be completely evil.


End file.
